今回の話は「Dir en Grey の Jealous -reverse-」のことです。
みんな、もう知ってるでしょう、I worship Dir en Grey.. and Kyo, in particular..
Why? I'll talk to you about it later on.. xP
This time I wanna write something about 'destiny'... and jealousy LOL!
This time I wanna write something about 'destiny'... and jealousy LOL!
 |
| gingsul sakti! #LOL (c) pic. captured from periXreloaded's video: [subbed] Dir en grey - Jealous -reverse- |
Again, once I get so interested in one song, I become so... 'desperate' in looking for the meaning behind it: about the reason why Kyo even wrote this kind of lyric... about his feeling when writing and/or singing the lyric.. about the whole truth...
(and I see the importance of historical approach here, which is hardly possible to be selected for analyzing this song, unless I meet him and ask personally, perhaps(?))
(and I see the importance of historical approach here, which is hardly possible to be selected for analyzing this song, unless I meet him and ask personally, perhaps(?))
Of course, the depth and darkness of the song is made perfect by the added unplugged-instrumental music on it too..
PS: I still know nothing about music though, but I can feel it.. I think everybody can feel the atmosphere of such a music.. 違うかな。*laughs* *coughs*
But still! a vocalist is the band's front man, isn't it? (what the hell was I talking about?! LOL well I just wanna say that LOL *embarrassed*)
People speculate that this song may be about 'the stolen girlfriend' (that years ago Kyo's friend or band-mate stole his girlfriend Kyo-sama'd intended to marry!)..
I don't know (and don't care... oh please.. I know I do care about Kyo-sama's feeling toward girls LOL) whether it's true or not but... it does explain why this song is titled 'jealous' *choked*
There's another speculation that it may be about the unloving father of Kyo-sama...
So~
In short, I prefer to stand for the first speculation.. Why? I'll explain...
The video above is Kyo-sama singing the song in a live concert.. I'm not sure on what year it is officially published but.. at least I know that it's a really old one..
Oh whatever! He looks so f*cking cool and young and cute(?) here! Who agrees? #LOL
And... This is the lyric and the translation of it that I got from lyricspla.net:
kare ni mayoidashita ANO hi kara
nazeka kokoro ga kyozetsu shiteita
kare no sugata ga henkei shite yuku
tooku amari ni mo chikasugite
kamen o kaburou ka? kare no mae de wa
hikitsuru kao o kakuseru kara
karada ni mayou watashi no kokoro wa
itsu no hi ni ka hanarete yuku
doku no hana no you ni saite miseru wa
soshite kaerizaku hana to naru
mou mukashi no you ni waraenaku natta
kare o ai shita watashi de wa nai
kokoro wa kizutsuite iyasezu ni
iroasete yuku
ai wa kuzure yuku naka de
hana to sakimidarete...
ichido dake nigatsu no ANO yoru ni
midareru hito o daiteita
ai suru "anata" wasurerarezu
_______________________________________
A wounded heart will fade away
the love is destroying you, in full bloom with the flowers.
JEALOUS
Since that day I didn't know what to about him
for some reason my heart has rejected (him)
His form is changing, far away but all too close
Should I wear a mask, so I can hide my face drawn with tension
when I'm with him.
my heart lost in my body will someday leave me
I'll bloom as the poison flower
and become the flower that blooms again.
A wounded heart will fade away
the love is destroying you, in full bloom with the flowers.
I'll bloom as the poison flower
and become the flower that blooms again.
I can't laugh like I used to,
I'm not the same person who loved him.
I only held that crumbling man once that february night,
I can't forget the 'you' that I loved.
A wounded heart will fade away
the love is destroying you, in full bloom with the flowers.
***
It's so... morose, isn't it?
Now, the reason why I chose to believe the first speculation about the 'stolen girlfriend' is...
I have different opinion about the translation of "kare o aishita watashi dewa nai."
I don't quite understand Japanese, but, I believe that this part actually means: it is him whom [she] loved, not me.. (eh wait, why did it has to be written in past tense? Is it really because it happened in the past? O_O)
See? Kyo-sama puts forward the fact that there is someone who love the 'he' and not the speaker (mentioned as Kyo-sama after this)..
Why does it have to be about unloving father anyway?
My analysis of the lyric goes as follows:
The first stanza of the lyric suggests the probable fact that the 'he' being talked is Kyo-sama's friend.. There're several changes, perhaps because they were actually too close to each other at first until the 'he' changes its attitudes after dating the 'you'.. I assume that Kyo-sama and the 'you' had broke up before she dates the 'he' (ignoring the fact that we actually know nothing about the reason why they broke up, so it's possible that it's because the girl had already in love with the 'he'), and that both Kyo-sama and the 'he' still treat/regard each other as a close friend..
That's why Kyo-sama thinks he should 'hide his twitched-face by wearing a mask'... Now we all know.. He IS jealous!
Next questions are about the last(?) stanza: Who holds who? Who is disturbed/confused? What happened in February?
These are my interpretations of the stanza: just one time in February, it was the 'you' who held the 'he', who got confused and didn't know what to do, (perhaps because he felt uncomfortable and guilty for 'stealing' his friend's (ex)girlfriend) and, it's Kyo-sama who can't forget the 'you' who loves [the 'he'].. (PS: I assume that "aisuru anata" means the 'you' who loves, not "the 'you' that I loved")
Last questions: what is the relation between all those flower things with the whole story? Why did Kyo-sama have to mention the blooms and the poisonous flowers? What does this symbolism probably mean?
Let's start talking about the part saying:
doku no hana no you ni saite miseru wa / soshite kaerizaku hana to naru//
Easy.. Kyo-sama says he'll proof that he can bloom as a poisonous flower.. and that he'll become that poisonous flower along with the second bloom of [other] flowers...
My English-Japan-English dictionary (a software called FREELANG Dictionary) shows that the word 'kaerizaku' may mean 'to bloom for the second time', and according to some sources, the particle 'to(と)' in Japanese may mean 'along with'..
However, why do I add the word 'other' there? It's simply because there is no 'doku' (which means poisonous) again in the later use of the word 'hana'... Besides, "the particle 'to(と)' in Japanese may mean 'along with'.." ._.
So, err.. I assume that it means Kyo-sama wants to reborn as someone 'negative' or poisonous(?)
Next...
The lyric goes too complicated for me in this part:
kokoro wa kizutsuite / iyasezu ni /
iroasete yuku /
ai wa kuzure yuku naka de /
hana to sakimidarete... //
Why?
I see it contradictory.. It is like... it has such a twisted ending which forms this motion of tone: - / - / - / - / +(?), (unless the blooming flowers mentioned here have something to do with the same above-mentioned poisonous flower ._.)
By the way... Why does the phrase 'blooming in profusion along with the flowers' have to be added there? What/who are blooming in profusion? Kyo-sama?
How can this phrase be related with the previous lines?
Does something bloom profusely inside the heart in which love is crumbling? What is this 'something'? Kyo-sama's poisonous flower? Why does it has to be 'flowers' and not the other things after all?
At first I interpreted the whole stanza as: "even inside that all messy heart where even love is crumbling, beautiful things like flowers still can bloom massively.."
Okay now I'm pretty sure that's not it -_-
Auch, damn! I wonder where I should place my '/' marking!
もしかして。Does it mean the negative feelings 'bloom' inside Kyo-sama's incurably wounded heart, taking over the crumbling love which exist there before? ちがうかな。Hmmm.. It does make sense though.. *compels* *laughs*
Oh! I'm wondering if my comprehension toward Japanese language is still that crummy.. *depressed*
Aw well, that's just what I believe to be the meaning of the song.. and I believe what I want to believe.. *obtrudes* #LOL
I (you.. oh I mean, all of us) might be able to feel it right away only by listening to Kyo's voice in singing this song, actually..Now, the reason why I chose to believe the first speculation about the 'stolen girlfriend' is...
I have different opinion about the translation of "kare o aishita watashi dewa nai."
I don't quite understand Japanese, but, I believe that this part actually means: it is him whom [she] loved, not me.. (eh wait, why did it has to be written in past tense? Is it really because it happened in the past? O_O)
See? Kyo-sama puts forward the fact that there is someone who love the 'he' and not the speaker (mentioned as Kyo-sama after this)..
Why does it have to be about unloving father anyway?
My analysis of the lyric goes as follows:
The first stanza of the lyric suggests the probable fact that the 'he' being talked is Kyo-sama's friend.. There're several changes, perhaps because they were actually too close to each other at first until the 'he' changes its attitudes after dating the 'you'.. I assume that Kyo-sama and the 'you' had broke up before she dates the 'he' (ignoring the fact that we actually know nothing about the reason why they broke up, so it's possible that it's because the girl had already in love with the 'he'), and that both Kyo-sama and the 'he' still treat/regard each other as a close friend..
That's why Kyo-sama thinks he should 'hide his twitched-face by wearing a mask'... Now we all know.. He IS jealous!
Next questions are about the last(?) stanza: Who holds who? Who is disturbed/confused? What happened in February?
These are my interpretations of the stanza: just one time in February, it was the 'you' who held the 'he', who got confused and didn't know what to do, (perhaps because he felt uncomfortable and guilty for 'stealing' his friend's (ex)girlfriend) and, it's Kyo-sama who can't forget the 'you' who loves [the 'he'].. (PS: I assume that "aisuru anata" means the 'you' who loves, not "the 'you' that I loved")
Last questions: what is the relation between all those flower things with the whole story? Why did Kyo-sama have to mention the blooms and the poisonous flowers? What does this symbolism probably mean?
Let's start talking about the part saying:
doku no hana no you ni saite miseru wa / soshite kaerizaku hana to naru//
Easy.. Kyo-sama says he'll proof that he can bloom as a poisonous flower.. and that he'll become that poisonous flower along with the second bloom of [other] flowers...
My English-Japan-English dictionary (a software called FREELANG Dictionary) shows that the word 'kaerizaku' may mean 'to bloom for the second time', and according to some sources, the particle 'to(と)' in Japanese may mean 'along with'..
However, why do I add the word 'other' there? It's simply because there is no 'doku' (which means poisonous) again in the later use of the word 'hana'... Besides, "the particle 'to(と)' in Japanese may mean 'along with'.." ._.
So, err.. I assume that it means Kyo-sama wants to reborn as someone 'negative' or poisonous(?)
Next...
The lyric goes too complicated for me in this part:
kokoro wa kizutsuite / iyasezu ni /
iroasete yuku /
ai wa kuzure yuku naka de /
hana to sakimidarete... //
Why?
I see it contradictory.. It is like... it has such a twisted ending which forms this motion of tone: - / - / - / - / +(?), (unless the blooming flowers mentioned here have something to do with the same above-mentioned poisonous flower ._.)
By the way... Why does the phrase 'blooming in profusion along with the flowers' have to be added there? What/who are blooming in profusion? Kyo-sama?
How can this phrase be related with the previous lines?
Does something bloom profusely inside the heart in which love is crumbling? What is this 'something'? Kyo-sama's poisonous flower? Why does it has to be 'flowers' and not the other things after all?
At first I interpreted the whole stanza as: "even inside that all messy heart where even love is crumbling, beautiful things like flowers still can bloom massively.."
Okay now I'm pretty sure that's not it -_-
Auch, damn! I wonder where I should place my '/' marking!
もしかして。Does it mean the negative feelings 'bloom' inside Kyo-sama's incurably wounded heart, taking over the crumbling love which exist there before? ちがうかな。Hmmm.. It does make sense though.. *compels* *laughs*
Oh! I'm wondering if my comprehension toward Japanese language is still that crummy.. *depressed*
Aw well, that's just what I believe to be the meaning of the song.. and I believe what I want to believe.. *obtrudes* #LOL
And, about 'destiny' I've mentioned above.. It's about how i 'met' this beautiful yet gloomy song..
I become so much interested in Diru's unplugged songs after listening to Namamekashiki Ansoku, Tamerai ni Hohoemi.. and I've been wondering about the song I listened to when I watched Diru's Documentary film of their Tour12-13 In Situ-Tabula Rasa..
So~
I googled a tiny part of the lyric I heard: Ano hi kara, (really, yes! it's exactly just that tiny part!) and found out that it's a song entitled Jealous in lyricspla.net, which is just the one which linked me to this song in particular.. (Thank you, whosoever you are the one who uploaded the lyric and translation there..)
My gratefulness goes to periXreloaded as well, for uploading the live video which enables me to see Kyo's young face singing this song out.. He is so damn cool!!!!! *cries* *faints* *dies in happiness* :'D
Okay, that's all for today.. ariyaでした。
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar